How inhuman can one become?

At first seeing a cadaver was nauseating and was enough to make you unconscious. Then when it became a habit, we could say jokes poking at the cadaver. At last when that became nothing and when we reached to a point that we could even eat before the body, we reached to the live bodies. Alcoholics, poisoning, snake bite victims, fever patients vomiting and vomitus reaching even reaching your coats and the fans were all to see. Patients spitting blood, bile and everything inside was the next bloody sights.

Pain and weeps in the corners too would make ones eyes water in the beginning. But that too changed not after long. Then one would always believe people are showing pain to make you work and sleepless. At last you wouldnot find it even difficult to close your eyes without moisture when you see the dead body of someone being taken out of the ICU and you see their relatives crying.

And then we believed Paediatrics would change everything. Pain of infants and children were always an agony. But since they are always crying and we could always walk through the corridors, we found ways to overcome them, no actually avoid them. After all these what would be ones reaction on seeing a labour?

And it was then we were put to the Autopsy room. Hanging, railway, road taffic accidents – occupant & pedestrian, burns, drowning, murder, poisoning and the rest of it in others. In a hurry to finish the 10 cases as fast as we could no one could take it as dead men but just cases. One would read the obituary pages in the newspaper and wait eagerly for a murder or a suicide. And would jump out of joy if a murder case is present as it is rare. Its common to see cursing the people for the more number of injuries as it one would end up in writing the record which would run into 10’s of pages.

Before long all the humane attitudes and emotions are lost. And it becomes easy to laugh in front of a diseased as well as deceased. But what matter is not emotions, but attitude. As in Munnabhai a doctor showing emotions cant even accurately put an incision. Praying at least the attitude wont change…

Everyone is Psychiatric?

Entering into the psychiatry wards and hearing the lectures one would wonder why I am not labelled a Psychiatric patient. Though my attendance is minimal, I think I can talk a bit officially on the subject since I didnt find any new thing in the classes, except definitions. Moreover I was made to stand for a whole 3 hours for 3 days as a punishment for bunking the wards n taking cases.

Beginning to talk all patients are so normal, more normal than us. But there would be always a reason to coming to the wards rit?. Its nice talking to them as most of them are talkative. And talks to the extent that it would be difficult to get to the classes after the wards.

After talking a lot and discussing and writing at last we took a history of a patient. And we concluded the immediate deaths of her relatives was the basic reasons for all her problems. But only when it was discussed in the class that we understood that the whole history is baseless. Many a thing constructed by the patient so that one would believe everyone is using her.. And the real story of a childhood sexual abuse is all where it began. May be because of the taboo and fear of getting abused we didnt dig that deep into her history.

And there were men who were normal till a day, after which he doesnt talk to anyone…Stops going to work..Walks naked in the house..and has delusions (the definition of which I was made to dictate several times, but actually I forgot). There can be delusion, hallucination, illusions, obsessions, compulsions, phobia, mania, depression, addiction and many more ‘ion’s in the name of the madmen who discovered it. The absurd theories which any insomniac would have written if he thought about psychiatry in the night.

Your mind can even derange to an extent no one would be able to make you laugh or cry or talk or believe a thing.. And people talking undiscovered words(people talking in unknown languages- may be as seen in Bible)..To one if you ask where his house is, he would reply- Kerala, Uganda, Britain and the name of all the places he know. For some a chicken has 6 legs and you have only 1 leg. And most of them talk a lot of philosophies which a common man cant understand. If approved they would have become philosophers, ideologists, scientists etc..only problem being there is no one who can think upto their level..If Einstein says there is 4th dimension its discovery, if someone else says he is mad???

For the most they think they have some kind of somatic illness, which we see actually..But our professors say thats the problem of their mind and their body is perfectly normal.. Then one would doubt whether both of them have some kind of problem actually. Being frank, there is no lack of sadists in the department..

If you doubt whether you have locked the door, or turned off the taps then you have obsessions -OCD.. and if you become excited you are maniac…and sad you have depression.. there may be grades to separate you from the patients..If you think about studies a lot, you have something wrong..and if you talk more your mind may be deranged and the reverse too…And if you anyhow drink more than 3 glasses alcohol a month you are an addict..Everything is wrong..everyone is wrong…and only doctors are right….

The End; No, the Beginning

The cruel thing is that they couldnot take the election in a healthy manner. The marching supporters came to the hostel, smashed the doors, fired crackers inside the hostel and destroyed the bulbs and tubelights. It was their own colleagues and why do they have to do these things to celebrate the victory. We have heartly welcomed the results and congratulated them. The fact behind this may be the fall in majority. In the magazine editor post they could get only a mere 10 vote majority and the maximum being 143. This is against the previous victory of 500 and 600 votes. If we have worked harder or got some more time, we could have changed the entire results. It is this belief the students have given us that made us to propel us forward and work for the campus. It may be difficult to win the next elections, because this union out of fear of losing next elections would be an outstanding one. And a thanks for the SFI supporters for making a great grave for us… May be we all can use this grave… And let this grave represent our unity upto death.

The Election Diaries 5

Day 7
It was on this day morning we were called to the Ladies Hostel for a talk infront of it due to frequent harassing by the seniors. It was then that our whole ideas changed. The girls wanted us to continue work even after the election whether it is win or lose. We had a doubt of that in mind, and we conceded their demands. Then we got a new enlightenment and torched a new path before us. Then only we understood that we have to continue and we have to work for the college ever.

One of our candidates announced that a magazine would be issued even if we donot win. It struck as a lightning as we never expected this. How could we do that and about the funding. But now we realize that we can simply do that.

We had no time to rest and there was poster war all around and we had to counter the poster as immediately as possible. We had to start calling the student individually. The main point was that SFI supporters would surely come to cast the votes, but the neutral ones may not. And we started our community in orkut too. This was a sunday and is the day when everyone got a chance to have a nap. But we were having our exams the next day, but didnot mind that.

We had to issue the manifesto, but that only after they have issued as it may be changed. Moreover we had to have only those things which we could do. And we did something new, an analysis of previous union’s manifesto. Most of them were unfulfilled and that could surely create an anti-incumbancy state.

In Day 8 we had to implement all other actions and talk to all other college students. We implemented our novel idea of drawing the portrait of our candidates and issuing posters.

Day 9
The election day. My job was to run to the pg hostels and to other pgs to bring them to the polling booth. Though they have promised their support, their response was mininmal. Compared to the M.pharm, MSc Nursing students imported they were not much in number. And we had some setbacks in our numbers.

But the main thing noticed was that the SFI leaders who were worried till the previous day remained very cool. And that surely created doubts in our mind. And they had imported some gunda’s I think but they were standing away from the campus.

On the course we had the knowledge that we would be losing the election by about 100 votes or so. Even if the elections were against them, they would have crossed into the booths and disrupted the elections. Reelections was unthinkable for us anyway. We had no belief in the police too who were run by their government. Our only hope was the presiding officer who was impartial.

After casting our votes we immediately left to the hostel. There was police camping there too. And before the results were out we packed our bags and left. Otherwise I wouldnot have written this I think.

The Election Diaries 4

Day 6
This day we had to do the campaign throughout the college. After an overall sleepless night we have to rise in the early morning to reach the college. Their we could see the opponents lined up to do whatever we do. There were always one of them wherever we go so as to hook us on our words. And with the exams afternoon which could never be bunked we were tensed also. And there was also a rule not to enter the classroom of juniors which they had done many a times individually. But we had to call them out of the class to have a campaign speech. I think most of the campaigners present there was from our batch and 2003 batch seniors as well as some dayscholars from 2004 batch, who were a bit lazy from the beginning may be because they needed to have a neutral stand since their batchmates were on both sides.

There was a great impact on the junior batches I think so. But since they were always after us they could many a times counter our dialogues. Afterwards we headed to Nursing College, but there was rumour that all the nursing students are gone because of some holiday declared. Ignoring the news we entered the Nursing College with a doubt and fear since it was the Red Fort of SFI. We entered a class and there was waiting all the pro-SFI’s to irritate and make us ashame by their questions. There were frequent questions of what we did to them and that till now only SFI had done something for them. I think we couldnot enter into their mind these things that we too had been with them and we individually didnt have any opportunity to work for them.

The few Nursing Students who had supported us couldnot come in open because of fear and separation. They couldnot even publicly talk to us. But they had talked to us a lot and they wanted us to come to their college.

The others were actually enraging us and moving us to the threshold, so as to start a feud. But we remained calm, but could not gibe answer to all their questions. Later also there was the same response from the nursing college. But in the B.Pharm college we had the open support of some of their students and we could peacefully talk to the students without any interruption. In the case of MLT college, during one of our visit during their Christmas celebration, when we reached we could hear the song Chora Veena Mannil Ninnu…and then we couldnt think of even entering the college.

Later in the afternoon in the 2003MBBS batch we could see a smash and return of words from the batchmates itself. And when one of our candidate was asked what talent he had, after some time of thinking he could answer that it was a brave heart. And some of the girls came in support of him and were sentimental also. The debate was too hot to stop in between, and it continued.

And in the night we opened a control room to sent SMS to concentrate more on 2006 batch who are on their vacations and 2007 batch. In the first step itself we got the news that the SFI are calling the 2006batch saying they have to submit a petition for course lagging, Later they changed the tactics that there is an election for batch rep. and everyone has to vote for the present rep to have a voice in the union, but in reality both were SFI representatives only. They were prepared to battle to any extent.

The Election Diaries 3

Day 5
And this was when the actions all started to get hotter. The college gripping into election fever…..We had been sleeping till late due to last days work. Our posters had created reactions in the opposition. And there was a rumour or truth spreading that some of the seniors from LH were harassing the students who supported us. And we decided to clear the notions by talking before the class after our exams. Anyway we bunked it and went to college later that evening. And there we witnessed a march by SFI with mainly first year nursing students masked by the regular members.

Only when we individually talked to the girls had we known there spirit. There had been a news report in the Mathrubhumi newspaper about the events on the nomination day. It said we tried to submit the nomination paper after time limit and they resisted. At last police came to clear us. And its clear that they would not give this news to Deshabhimani the party newspaper but to a neutral one to take it before the campus the next day. They had brought out posters of the papercutting. And our girls told they wanted some posters immediately to counter them in the hostel and mess.

We had a talk to the whole batch when everyone came forward in support. But many thought some candidates were not competent enough, but what we valued was at least the ability to stand against a strong and established power. Since the points were known to all the applauses were immediate. And during the last elections almost 95%of us voted for SFI, and at that time there was no active opposition. And we realised no one else should fall in that trap again. During the first and second years when we look at the whole situation, whatever we did was by SFI. But actually there were not more than !0 or 20 SFI members involved in any of the activities. All of us had been sweating hard and the credit as usual and as normal goes for the college union headed by SFI.

The days yet to come were of arduous labour and the nights sleepless.
And now we were getting ready for the grand bash and their was fear in the eyes of our opposition. But we decided to do it calm and positively. And no negative campaigning should be resorted from our part was our decision. And we had a small campaigning in the hostel to the first years. They were the ones who were most easily taken under arms. Whoever talks to them most and last would be in an advantage. And this was our case too in the first year. If we would be able to convince them the truth of who did everything and what actually they did victory could be sure by the whole 200 votes, but that was a near impossible according to our assumption.

In the speech in the hostel our candidates bashed at the opposition and we were at a prominent advantage then. The juniors themselves called us and voiced their support but the news reached their ears too. They made a few of the SFI supporters in the batch to hold their general body and raise voice that we were uttering complete nonsense and would induce a batch split on their side. The negative campaigning was so strong that there was news from ladies hostel that they had even labelled some of us homosexuals.

And one of our main weapon was the magazine, which according to them would be a quarterly magazine was released once in two years and that too just before the elections. And when we said the money for one years magazine was lapsed they changed it in such a way that we started negative campaigning by saying the magazine editor tipped off the amount. With his good image it was sure to turn against us, but it couldnot last long

The Election Diaries 2

Day 2
And this was the day for submitting the nomination papers. And we all had to be there for the support of our batchmates. Bunking a part of the psychiatry posting, where we were caught by the head for previous complete bunkings, we reached the college office. And there were just us and none of their followers, and then we understood nothing would be happening until evening though the time told was 11.00 am. I was astonished seeing many of the hardcore bookworms there just a day before the exams.

After our meals we again rushed back to college to see the action. And there were 100’s waiting to scratch our backs and they were all students (since I wouldnt like to call them gundas) from nearby colleges. And with the sticks and comments they were waving was simply to frighten and corner us to a side. And perhaps, no really, we all were afraid. After persistent requests to the principal (about whom and his political leniency I would be silent), the police came to actually watch the situation. Still they roamed around the campus passing comments on girls and throwing and beating sticks. We had to contain ourselves to the common room a thing which can happen in no other college in the state. The police still remained mere spectators.

And the time came for us to submit the nominations. The box didnt have any lock and with our protests the presiding officer asked to lock the box. We decided to submit the nominations only after SFI submits it, due to some previous experience by some present there. And in the last minute there was an announcement when many had already submitted, that it should be submitted in a sealed envelope. We had to hurry to buy some and we put it in covers.

Their followers and candidates came marching to submit the nomination. There were some 50 nominations for them. After submitting their nominations they didnot allow anyone else to do the same, and even resorted to attack some students present there.Principal was called out of the office by one of the candidates and when he came Principal didnot allow us to submit since the time was over. But the Presiding Officer who was watching this extended the time saying there were outsiders and there was an attack. She also asked to submit a complaint if we had one, but since we had no hope in the follow-up we ignored it.

That night we had hot discussions and everyone who witnessed the incidents decided to stand together and oppose together. Why should our college be ruled by someone from outside. Our girls didnot get the minimum respect inside their campus. And whats the need of showing power to none else but their colleagues who were present there.

Some had decided to contest the elections to show opposition, some for fun, but in the end everyone came together. One of the groups had been there just for a comedy and had decided to get disqualified before the elections in any manner. Some had been there due to opposition to the left ideologies, and some like us for opposition to their working and to show protests to recent incidents. But this incident worked in uniting all of us against a common enemy. I stress the point that the enemy means not our colleagues, but the actions and working of the college union.

Day 3
In the first scrutiny all the nominations were approved and then came the second scrutiny when many of them were cancelled. On their side some even cross supported each other for the same post, which was near impossible for such an organised party to do. And at last knowing that the opposition was strong, they had to contest some of the new-comers and more popular ones to induce some batch splits and to get some sentimental votes too.

And we decided our candidates lists, and talked to the girls in Ladies Hostel, all of whom supported our stand except some (means too few) long standing hardcore SFI supporters. The list was not a full one since fear was what ruled our mind, and we had to withdraw many of the nominations by pressurising and threat calls to homes. One of our candidate from paramedical courses was called to his home and threatened which led to his withdrawal on the same day. This left us with no candidature from paramedical courses which was one of their main election claims. In the end the five who could withstand all this stood up for the elections.

And on the opposite side candidates list there was one of our batchmates too, who was very close with us. May be because of that reason and his popularity in our batch that they made him the candidate. We had another fear too in our minds, whether he would be made the scapegoat to have their greatest point against us and get the sympathy votes as he had got some threat calls to withdraw.

Many of us had to take time to make him believe what is truth. But I hope he understood everything since many in the opposite side knew this without him or us telling them. Till now me or my friends can never think against him as we understand he got into their hands accidently and he was in no position to come out of it. I thinks that he never thought we would come against SFI directly.

But its true that the attitudes have changed somehow and there is always a thread of suspicion among us though we may not accept the fact. And I would like to think the opposite basing our relations since this was just a difference in ideologies and nothing personal. Just as we fight with each other being Lal and Mammooty fans and there is nothing more than that. Being medical students we wont be able to continue any politics in the future unless you are that interested. And that too was the beginning of the fraudulent and cheap political trick being played against us.

The next day being the pharmacology exams, we had no other options left but to study since it was a horror subject and we had to have the averages to write the university.

Day 4
After a somewhat difficult exams we reached back the hostels for a more energetic night ahead since we decided to bunk the microbiology exams on the next day. And in the evening it was time for us to decide on a name for our unity which is the word I would like to call our grouping.

Democratic Students Association was the name earlier decided. But there was a notion that the word that democratic is associated with Congress and this three word associations are usually political we scrapped the name. But it was 4 or 5 hours of discussion we came to a conclusion that there was no other name apt. Some searched the internet and found some unusual names like Sipup, Rock n roll. And Campus Students Front in short became CSF which would be a comical word for us medicos.

And we had a general body of our batch and whole batches and we decided to move ahead with our decision. And leniency to any party, left or right in the decision making would be a no-no as we had believed there would be the opposite political frauds who will be trying to make use of this situation.

It was then that the word united struck me and reached to the name CAMPUS UNITED which was the name under which we were united and would be.

The night ahead was the beginning of our campaigning. A whole lot of posters were brought and the seniors asked us to make some slogans and campaign jingles since they couldnot get many. But once we were into it, it was a stream of ideas, slogans, cartoons, pictures, poems and there was no lack of words to describe our agitated and opposed minds.

Some of us had to sit throughout the night to complete the works. And we had to wake up early to paste the posters as we were afraid whether our works would be lost if we had done it earlier. And the next day we occupied most of the notice boards which were accessible to us. And also the mess where the poster fight started then. The main theme of the posters of the first day was surely the gundaism, politicisation of the campus and the irresponsible college union.

The Election Diaries 1

This is the short story of how we came out of the cocoon of our dreams, beliefs and attitudes and did something which was till then different to us. What would have changed our future had already changed our minds, and thoughts of what would be the changes to our bodies? I had completed much of the story earlier. Then decided there should be even small events and every truth here even if it hinders our stance and this is truly uncensored.

Day 1
I was called at night in the midst of my studies by one of my friends to nominate him for the upcoming college union elections. He assured he was ready to face all adverse situations. After signing only I thought of the future tense, and thought how practical this can be. From that moment I think there was no you or me, and everything we spoke was in the plurals. Ya, we and our senior batches decided to stand for the elections against our common enemy as the word is very apt.

Till now there had been a dictatorial rule in the college, whatever the union did was for its publicity and nothing for the students actually. This was what we, without any party politics or ideologies was against. And almost the whole batch came to support the candidates immediately as we had some bitter experience from them in the past. We had given complete support to the Union in most of its activities and it was the hostelites who had to work the whole night in the auditorium to arrange any events or fests. And why we were against them now was some recent incidents of assault on our batch mates.

And as a matter of fact the days of our exams were also nearing and their were just 2 days ahead of us with heaps of pharmacology and pathology to study. Returning back to the rooms we had just one thing in mind, what will be the result. Not what would be the election results, but its effect on our bodies. Actually we were all hell afraid. There was none in the near past who has stood against the SFI, and without any political or outside support (which they had in tons) how could we handle their blows and cunning notions. But what we decided and signed was done and there was no turning back. And through the hot discussions through the night we ended up sleeping in the lap of the next dawn.

We had just 2 days left for filing nominations since the notification was issued on a Friday just before 2 public holidays. And it was in this short span of time that we decided to row against the flow. And they neatly avoided the senior most batch whose results which has not yet been out and when they are still the part of our college, may be because they thought the results would be the opposite.

Warning : If you have read till here please read till the end.

First Day in Wards

Running through the crowded corridors to the Medicine Head’s room. On reaching there the horror which was foretold revealed one after other before us. And here stopped the bunking of classes and after that it winded to just 2 classes in 3 months and that too with leave letter and explanation.
To the ultimate horror it was our unit’s OP day plus the day before ie sunday was also an OP day. So the wards were thronging with people both on the bed and below it too. Another thing added to it that the House Surgeon batch has not arrived in the college after the results. So all the work on us + final years + post graduates. And when we reached one of the seniors called and asked us to see the procedure of putting a urinary catheter so that we can do it then and throughout the night.

In the meantime pg’s demonstrated how to draw blood in syringe. Gloves, not very common in the wards, but being the first ward (belonging to HOD) we had atleast one for the day. Took a syringe, cotton and some betadine and the bottles and stood before the bed. Whatever they asked the only reply was ‘No Problem, It would be all right’

Then tapping repeatedly to draw out the hidden veins. On seeing some taps it seems as though the veins are deep under the muscles and that we are straining to take them out. It would be then the patients will be saying that the last doctor took it very easily. Now imagining something to be a vein, and struggling to keep the shaking needle tip right over that its inserted. But blood is not coming, so as told keeping the needle inside rotating the needle round and pricking again at last it would come somehow.

And it would be while pouring it into the bottle, the bystander would say ‘It was only just now that someone took blood’. And needle pricks and pouring out the whole blood on the floor by slipping out the syringe piston and dropping the bottle was also too common.

It would be better to talk in English, so that others would believe we know something and they dont understand our troubles. Nauseating smells and occasional hepatitis patients and uncops( as we call non cooperating patients) adds to the problems.

And day slips to night, but there is no stop in flow of patients. And occasional catheterings. Told each time that it should be extra sterile to avoid any urinary tract infection, but at last after losing several catheters on ground learns to concentrate more on procedure than on sterility. It would be while doing the thing that one remembers he forgot to take something and rushes to the nurses room. Only on seeing female ut, that one would believe how easy it was to put a male catheter. Finding the ureter, to the cleanliness it was horrendous.

Looking at the face of pg’s there was no response at all. And at 5 am we got the courage to ask them to leave. Then they would say ‘we were thinking why didnt you ask before’